![]() ![]() William playing a video game while he was in treatment for childhood cancer.One of those things we learned to embrace was video games. He could break though the walls of that hospital room and fly free with a sense of joy and wild abandon every 4-year-old child should be afforded. I wanted to cry in that moment, because even though my son’s fragile body was recovering from the trauma of lung surgery and he was hooked up to machine to help him breathe, he was almost instantly transformed into a something of a superhero.Ĭourtesy of the game he clutched tightly in his little hands, he could run and jump and twirl around. There he was, lying in a bed in the ICU hooked up to a ventilator, quietly playing his little heart out. His eyes shined with excitement! We thought Will was far too young to play video games frequently, so being able to take a turn with his brother’s Gameboy was always a special treat. She was skeptical, but in the end she allowed us to give it a try. We asked the nurse if he could play it for a little bit, just to give him a break from being strapped down. ![]() ![]() We had our older son’s small, handheld Gameboy device with us. That he would always see me in his memories just standing there while he struggled to free himself. And it broke my heart to think that he would always remember the time Mommy did nothing to save him. I was sure he was wondering why I wasn’t protecting him, and my arms ached from wanting to pick him up and hold him close - just like those moments right after I gave birth to him. He just looked at me with wild eyes and I was powerless to do anything but try my best to comfort him. He didn’t understand what was going on and was completely terrified. Because he was 4 years old, they tied his arms to the side so he wouldn’t pull the breathing tube out. Kris getting her head shaved at the 46 Mommas Shave for the Brave.Nearly 12 years ago, the day before the doctor told us our son Will had cancer, my son was in the ICU hooked up to a ventilator. ![]()
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